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I often receive questions from my newsletter subscribers asking me how to build their self esteem. These are some of the common questions: “What are the most effective techniques for building self esteem?” “I learned that I can not outperform my self esteem. Is it true?” Yes it’s true. You cannot outperform your self esteem. Your self esteem is your belief in your self, and your belief creates your reality. That’s the law of belief. Nobody can change that. You can read more at law of the subconscious mind. There are two ways you can build your self esteem using your subconscious mind: 1) Affirm to yourself in front of a mirror. Use ‘YOU’ as the subject and give command to yourself. For example, if I want to build my self esteem, I will stand upright, look into my eyes in the mirror and say “Kenneth, you are the best! You are the greatest! You can definitely succeed!” Repeat 9 times everyday (sounds like a doctor’s prescription :) It works 100% if you follow through this method for at least 30 days. 2) Another effective way to increase your self esteem is by listening to audible affirmation. Why do I use the word audible? Because there are many people trying to sell subliminal programs. I know they work, because many people say so. The only problem is I’ve not experienced it working on me! Instead of waiting for miracles to happen, I suggest you listen to audible affirmation because I’ve tried this method myself and it works. There are many motivational audio CDs in the market. Get one that is related to building self esteem or self image and listen to it everyday for 30 days and at least once a month thereafter. If you want my recommendation, here is a good one. Build Self Esteem CD. One thing I would like to emphasize here is to be clear of the difference between high self esteem and high self ego. A person with high self esteem is confident in himself, but he doesn’t have to show it to the world. He doesn’t need recognition from other people in order to build his self esteem. He doesn’t need people to tell him “You are good”, although some of these can be encouraging. A person with high self esteem knows what he wants, and he steadily executes his plans one step at a time. His self esteem is NOT related to his current achievement nor any other external factors. Because of this, he DARES to fail. He knows that he learns more from failure. He knows that through failure, he will come out stronger. On the other hand, a person with high self ego needs power and authority. He minds how people look at him. To him, sense of achievement and sense of recognition are very important to his value system. He doesn’t know that these values are destroying his life. He dare NOT fail, because of his high sense of achievement and recognition. He needs power to cover his weakness. You may ask, if a person doesn’t have any sense of achievement and recognition, what motivates him to achieve more in life? Ask those who are highly successful. The answer is their sense of responsibility. A person with high self esteem has high sense of responsibility. He is responsible for himself (for living the fullest he can). He is responsible to his boss or his customers (for rendering the best service he can). He is responsible to his staff (for providing them with a stable income and living). He is responsible to the society (for being grateful of all the things around him). It is the sense of responsibility that pushes him to a greater height from time to time. In summary, use the two methods I've suggested to build your self esteem and at the same time, understand that self esteem is all about how you view yourself. It's independent of who you are NOW or what your current achievement is. Remember, you will NEVER have to build your self esteem upon the impression of other people!
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